What Recovery from Burnout Actually Looks Like

If you've made it to this post, you're probably somewhere in the thick of it — burned out, exhausted, maybe on leave or thinking about it, wondering if you're going to feel like yourself again. I want to tell you something first: I've seen people get better. Real recovery is possible, and it happens more often than people expect when they finally let themselves slow down and get support.

You are not alone in this. And I would love to help you — or connect you with someone who can.

Phase one: resourcing

When someone comes to me in a state of serious burnout, the first thing we work on is resourcing — giving your nervous system enough capacity to even begin the deeper work. You can't do meaningful therapeutic work from a place of total depletion. The nervous system has to come down first.

For most people, that starts with rest. More rest than you think you need. I tell my clients: over-rest. It's okay to not be productive for a while. It's okay to just sit and let your nervous system settle. Get massages. Take baths. Go for walks. Eat balanced meals — ones that include some ice cream. Feel the sun on your skin. Read books that aren't about optimizing yourself.

The goal in this phase isn't to fix anything or figure anything out. The goal is to remember that your body is safe, that you are allowed to rest, and that the world will not fall apart if you slow down. For many people who have been in high-performance environments for years, this is actually one of the hardest things to practice. The guilt is real. The fear of falling behind is real. We work through all of it.

Phase two: finding your way back to yourself

Once you're starting to feel like you can think clearly again — reading things and actually taking them in, noticing curiosity and interest coming back, finding things that make you laugh — then we can begin to explore what actually brings you joy. What lights you up. What gives you meaning. What you have fun doing.

This sounds simple, but for a lot of people who have been in survival mode for a long time, they genuinely don't know the answer anymore. Their identity got so tied up in work and performance that when the work stopped feeling good, everything stopped feeling good. Part of the therapeutic work is remembering — or discovering for the first time — what a life that feels meaningful actually looks like for you specifically.

Not knowing is okay. Exploration and curiosity are key. What's needed here is an openness to go out into the world and try some old things and some new things. We'll take the time to learn your feelings and let those emotions teach us about you. They will teach us what you like, where you need to push yourself, things you can probably do without, who is a safe space for you, and who you need to set boundaries with.

Phase three: what gets in the way

Once we start to get a picture of what brings you joy, we tackle what gets in the way of you actually having those things in your life.

Maybe you're an engineer, but you love baking, and in an alternate reality you bake for a living instead of code. If you could have that life in this reality, what's keeping you from it? Is it just the belief that you can't? The fear that you won't be successful? The worry that you won't make enough money? The belief that what you make isn't good enough? We learn what mental blocks are present, and we figure out together how to shift those beliefs into ones that are more open to possibilities — and still rooted in reality.

We will dream real dreams together. I'll be rooting for you the whole way.

When leave is ending: returning to work

When leave is coming to an end, we prepare for the return — whatever that looks like. Some of my clients go back to their same jobs because they need to, and we figure out together what that return will look like and how to not fall into the same patterns that caused their health problems in the first place. We think through the interactions that will come up, the dynamics that will feel familiar, and plan how to navigate them differently. We practice being gentle with ourselves through that process.

Others leave for new jobs in the same field. Others make real career pivots. The situations and environments are all different, but the work is fairly similar across the board — because what matters most isn't the job itself, it's how you can show up for yourself in new ways. That's ultimately what we're building: a relationship with yourself that no layoff or restructure can take away.

It's all very hard. And it is so, so rewarding to witness.